Soooooo, yeah, my name is April, *Hi*. I am closer to being thirty than forty, I am married, I have 3 kids, I'm Mormon, and I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember. I also have a penchant for run on sentences :) This is my third attempt at a blog-three's a charm, right? I have decided to have gastric bypass surgery, and am in process of fulfilling the requirements in order to make that happen. So far, I have found a surgeon, had an EGD, and am currently on a 6 month doctor monitored diet. This diet is supposed to be high protein, low carb, around 1200 calories. I am struggling a bit... Mostly, I am struggling w/ documenting what I am eating. Go figure. Anyhow, some time between now and surgery day I will also have to have a psychiatric evaluation, and I think I have to meet w/ a cardiologist and a pulmonologist as well.
I actually just recently decided to have surgery. I have tried pretty much every diet, with minimal success. And by "minimal" I mean losing a little weight and then gaining it back plus some. I am 5'7 and currently weigh 326. In high school my best weight was 177, which is still overweight, and I had to work REALLY hard to get that weight. When I got married 8 years ago, I was 230 lbs. So since high school, I have gained 149 lbs (which, as a sad side note, is 10 lbs short of being my husband's current weight) Awesome, right?! Yeah, not so much. I am relatively healthy, although according to my most recent physical, I have a fatty liver and I was diagnosed with diabetes
To be perfectly honest, I haven't told a lot of people about the surgery. So far, I've only told my husband, my grandma, and my mother in law ( I was forced to tell my mother in law because she found out about my EGD and thought I had cancer-she's a bit dramatic). They are not the only people who know though-my grandma told my aunts and pretty much anyone who is related to me by blood who lives in Kansas, Arizona, Alabama, and North Carolina. My husband told my father in law, who has quite likely mentioned it to one or all of his 8 siblings and/or mother. I guess that's fine-I need to come to terms with it. I guess my main fears about telling people are that 1) It makes me seem weak, like I can't lose weight the "normal" way 2) people might realize that I have a weight problem (news flash! They already know.) 3) I don't want people to dissuade me/give me a hard time/ask billions of questions about it 4)I'm afraid that somehow, I won't be successful at weight loss and then people will think I'm really lame because I did something so drastic and STILL couldn't be successful.
Never in a million years did I think I would opt for weight loss surgery. I read a book a few months back about a lady who had major food issues. She talked about all the deep dark secrets that people w/ food issues have-the crazy stuff they do. I identified so much with her on so many different levels. I knew the book was about how she had lost a lot of weight, so I was eager to get to the part where she found the will power, diet, and/or secret that helped her shed all those pounds. Eventually she talked about having weight loss surgery, and I was so ANGRY! I seriously felt so duped. I even chucked the book on the ground. I was mad because I thought she took the easy way out, I was mad because I knew I'd never sink so low as to have surgery, and I was mad because even if I did want to have surgery, there was no way I could afford it. I finished the book anyways (it's a compulsion of mine-I have to finish a book/movie once I have started it). The seed was planted, however. Over the next few months, I started thinking about it more. Then, I started researching more. Then, I talked to the insurance company, and found out that it was covered. And, the rest is history (well, technically, it's still the present because I am still in process of having it done).
So, I thought I'd go ahead and start blogging about my experience. In many ways, I don't feel like I have a lot of people to talk to about it (that would really understand-nobody in my family has a weight problem) so, this is a great catalyst for sorting through my thoughts and feelings on the subject, and who knows, when all is said and done, maybe I'll make millions off of my story...er...well, at least maybe I can be helpful to someone else going through the same thing.
My goals for right now are to stick with the diet-my doc wants me to lose 10% (about 32 lbs) of my weight by the time I have surgery. He said it's good to do so because it gives me a bit of a head start and it helps to shrink down my liver and create more space for him to work. Oh, by the way-I have chosen to have laproscopic gastric bypass (aka Roux en Y) surgery. Maybe I'll discuss why I chose that in my next entry. As of right now, I'm going to attempt to put the middle child down for a nap. Wish me luck!
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